Since I had so much fun last week with the new segment Silly Superhero Situations, I figured it was about time for a new one. This time I will feature two of our favorite villains of pop culture: From the novels by George R. R. Martin and the HBO show Game of Thrones, we will have King Joffrey facing off against one of my favorite movie villains of all time–The Joker. The Joker has an extensive history through comics, TV shows, and movies, so for the purposes of this poll, we will limit it to the Joker from The Dark Knight film, as played by the late Heath Ledger.
Their task to complete? It is a rite of passage that all young men and women aspire to achieve: obtaining their driver’s license. So who do you think would be able to complete this the most successfully?
I think initially Joker might be thought to be the clear winner here. After all, Joker lives in society with cars, how could Joffrey complete? This task, however, goes start to finish–From the first visit to the DMV to the finally receiving the terrible paper copy that is a bundle of papers that eventually gets lost before you receive your actual license. This journey is not a short one, my friends.
We all know the biggest test for getting your driver’s license is getting to take the test for your driver’s license. There are lines after lines, and hours upon hours of waiting. I think Joffrey might have the edge in the beginning. After all, he runs a government doesn’t he? He understands the ins and outs of bureaucracy right? Ok, maybe this isn’t the case, but I think he could throw a big enough tantrum that people willfully leave the line to not have to listen to his irksome teenage angst. For the rest of the people who are able to withstand that, Joffrey would just order them killed! To the front of the line he goes!
Meanwhile, the Joker might get a little hung up. First of all, I think every person in line he comes across, he would be asking, “Do you want to know how I got these scars?” So he will be spending hours of his time coming up with another sob story for something somebody did with a knife to his face. Then, finally when he gets to the counter, he has kind of a conundrum: The Joker’s form of identification is a Joker playing card. That won’t get you anywhere Mr. Joker–if that’s your real name.
Assuming both are able to manage their way through to the next step, the written test would be the next step. Again, I think the teenage angst might win out for Joffrey here. By sheer determination, I think Joffrey would study the handbook day and night until he was prepared for the test. Or he might just order the test giver murdered and steal the answer sheet. Either way. As for the Joker, I have a feeling he would not have a pen in that jacket of his. He would have to ask other test givers, to borrow a pen, but most would likely run. The Joker really needs to lose the unkemptness of his appearance. The good news though–he was working with a lawyer for a while. Harvey Dent might have passed on a little bit of knowledge top help the Joker get through the test.
If both manage to pass the test, it’s photo time! I think both of our villains might have some trouble here. Joffrey will probably be asked to remove his crown for the photo, which might not go over well. Joker, on the other hand, will have to explain why he will be putting his hair color as green, which could be another long story, much like the story of his scars.
I think the next appointment, for the behind the wheel training, might be where the Joker finally begins to catch up. First of all, Joffrey has probably had every DMV employee killed that did something to piss him off. Secondly, if he actually had someone who was able to administer the test, Joffrey hasn’t been in a car before, so pointing out the parts of the car for the test might prove difficult. Hopefully Joffrey did some major studying in between his putting various DMV employee’s heads on spikes. On the other hand, the Joker has probably only killed about half of the DMV employees, and made the other half join his crew, after some tryouts. As for pointing out the various parts of the car for the test, that should be a breeze–given that he doesn’t start demanding to know where Harvey Dent is for a half hour.
And finally, the behind the wheel test! Our villains have almost made it through the nightmare known as the DMV. Hopefully Joffrey is tall enough that his feet reach the gas pedal. If not, I am sure he has hired or enslaved somebody to operate the pedals for him. Here I think the Joker might actually have an advantage over Joffrey. I have a feeling that Joffrey could “choke” the final stretch of his long journey. After all, the Joker has driven a semi truck before! He even managed to parallel park that beast of a truck:
So in the end, who do you think would succeed in their perilous quest? Does Joffrey make his incestuous parents proud? The Joker probably murdered his own parents, but does Joker succeed in impressing his soulmate Batman? Vote in our poll, and let me know who you think would be able to earn their rite of passage!
P.S. If you vote and leave a comment, you can earn 5 extra entries in our Nerd Block giveaway, which includes a Star Wars T-shirt & much more!